My Regrets
by Zharrk
Summary: Drifting away, Stiles felt like his world was falling down into an abyss of eternal regret. There's nobody waiting at the top with a rope to pull him out. It seems like he's on his own. It always seems like he's on his own. Currently Rated M for language and future themes. Possible future Sterek and Magic!Stiles. (Remake of my previous story, 'End of the Road').
1. Happenstance

**Author's Note:**

Hello guys. First off, I owe everyone who has read my discontinued Fanfiction 'End of the Road' (originally called 'Outside') a sincere apology. First off, for not updating and not actually stating it was discontinued and keeping you waiting for so long. I really am sorry. I have another Author's Note at the end of this chapter somewhat explaining why my old story was discontinued, and what plans I have for this one.

Also, this is kind of an AU. Peter Hale and Allison's mother aren't dead; Kate still is, though. Any other things that I need to mention will be added in the future Author's Notes.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Teen Wolf'.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Happenstance**

It was late at night at Beacon Hills High School, and Stiles and many others were watching the results of training and hard work from both teams unfold in the spectacular game of lacrosse in front of them, underneath the heavy glare of artificial lighting. Stiles was once again gifted with his unfortunately named spot on the bench, along with a few other guys on the reserve team. He was more upset than anything to actually admit to himself that he began to not care about sitting in that same spot every single game. He was becoming too accustomed to it to say the least; not having played on the field for a long time, even _after_ the Coach saw that he was actually pretty good that one time, a while back.

He tried to ask Coach Finstock one time if he could be allowed to play alongside the rest of the team, and be taken off of the bench for once. He was flat out rejected by his Coach, him stating that if Stiles were to ever bring it up again, he would definitely take him off of the bench; as well as off of the team for good. Stiles didn't know why he was acting the way he was, so he decided not to press it further. Instead, he asked his buddy Scott to try and subtly bring the topic up in conversation with their Coach.

However, he could never actually count on anything that had the words 'Scott' and subtle' in the same sentence. Scott came back to him saying that Stiles was indefinitely staying on the bench until each of his team members were 'either severely maimed or injured', he quoted with what seemed like an undeniable degree of accuracy. Scott must have said something _really_ off, that was Stiles' first thought; and he truly had nothing to respond with. Sometimes he wondered why he was even lingering on the edges of the team. He not only had to put up with being surrounded by people who didn't really like him or acknowledge his existence, not mentioning any names though… (_Jackson_).

The worst part though, was that he never actually got to spend time with the one person he actually came to these games for. His best buddy was always there on the pitch, having made first line months ago; leaving Stiles in his wolfed-out supernatural dust.

As per usual.

It wasn't the best of feelings to say the least; however, judging by how said best friend was playing at the moment, he might have been joining Stiles' with his rump placed firmly on the 'Reserves' bench. Stiles truly didn't know what was going on.

The past few games that they had been playing, or that Stiles had been watching at least, Scott had been acting particularly strangely. He was being profoundly and unusually aggressive towards people; even Stiles at some points, when it seemed like Scott just couldn't put up with the somewhat 'pointless drabble' that usually left Stiles' mouth, as Scott liked to call it. Stiles noted that he hadn't really been acting that way ever since he was first turned into Werewolf, by a now 'on the loose' Peter Hale, back when he had trouble controlling the urges that being turned into a supernatural creature brought.

Scott eventually calmed down with a little help from his so-called 'best friend' and one particularly dangerous brunette by the name of Allison Argent. Stiles had to place his hand over his mouth to stop himself from giggling right then as he knew he was the only one who helped Scott through his transition into wolf-hood more than she ever did. He wished he got credit for that more honestly, but what was done was done. It was in the past now.

Except, maybe it wasn't.

Scott was rampaging across the field, taking every chance he got to try and steal the ball mid-flight or knock people over whilst trying to score. Sometimes his teammates were lucky to avoid the onslaught brought on by their own companion; barely moving out of his way as he rushed past them towards the opposing team's goal, trying his very best to score. He never once succeeded though, and now Beacon Hills were losing quite badly. If Scott kept playing the way he was, Beacon Hills were going to lose this match. The team really couldn't afford another crushing defeat. From the looks of the crowd behind him, _especially_ Mrs McCall in the crowd, Stiles wasn't the only person who noticed it too.

"For God's sake McCall, Pass!" Jackson, who was clearly irritated from his personal lack of involvement in the game that they were currently losing, shouted from across the field to Scott; who was quickly racing across the lacrosse field into the opposing team. He was met with the full force of two particularly stocky men from the away team, who had eventually caught onto Scott's solo plan of 'go-hard-or-go-home' and teamed up against his force. Of course, they had no trouble with blocking him from advancing any further and sending him to the ground with their padded shoulders alone.

A large of array of shouts and jeers erupted from the crowd; some at the opposing team for their action, yet most were against Scott for his selfish attitude during the game. Stiles had to say he was surprised for Scott not wolfing out right there. He was somewhat proud too, that he wasn't using his powers to take the advantage. He had tried to excel at lacrosse when he first became a werewolf, using the skills and powers that it granted him to excel at the game, but Stiles quickly scolded his best friend and brought him back to _his_ reality. He should use his own skill to win his games; not the borrowed strength of a supernatural creature that he originally thought of as a curse. Heck, if Stiles could do it, his wolfed out buddy could at least try.

Stiles looked up from the state of his best friend on the ground, not moving straight away from the impact of the collision. The roaring crowd behind him was slowly silencing back down to the normal conversational level of amplitude. He was just in time to notice Jackson, a distance away on the field, literally face palming himself out of regret and disappointment for Scott's actions. Or at least, that's what Stiles figured out from that particular gesture.

He didn't know what was up with his friend recently, who was slowly getting up from his encounter. Jackson was shouting profanity at him from across the field for his actions, but Scott wasn't having any of it. He began walking up to Jackson after dropping his lacrosse stick and he seemed pretty pissed. Thankfully, Finstock was able to get between them in time. The last thing Stiles, and surely the rest of the people watching the game, needed to see were two supernatural creatures battling it out in the middle of a lacrosse match.

The Coach sent Scott to the bench, where Stiles was currently resting, and the Coach gave him a stern warning for his retaliation to Jackson's, also somewhat uncalled for, response. Jackson was scolded as well by Finstock, however if the team wanted to keep their chance of winning this match at all, he needed to keep Jackson on the pitch.

Stiles was knocked out of his train of thought as his friend plonked down on the bench besides him and the rest of the reserves on the team; one of whom was overjoyed at finally being allowed to play on the pitch. Stiles' slightly envious gaze drifted from the back of the guy currently running on to the pitch as he noticed his friend hadn't spoken to him yet since he sat down. He turned to look at Scott, somewhat surprised to find him looking away from his gaze. He, naturally, became concerned for his friend; as despite his recent behaviour being very… different, from his usual character and personality; this was a whole other level.

Here was Scott, who was not talking to his best friend of over ten years. Just because he got sent off of the lacrosse pitch? It wasn't really like Scott to throw a tantrum for any reason.

"What's up buddy?" Stiles asked, concerned. However, his friend didn't respond straight away.

"Scott?" He turned to look at Stiles then, and forced a smile upon his face. It didn't seem at all natural to Stiles, and unfortunately for Scott, it had him even more concerned.

"Stiles… Don't worry about it. I'm just a little… stressed, that's all."

"What? Why? There aren't any exams coming up that you haven't studied for there, are there? Please don't tell me you haven't been studying Scott. I can't afford to have to tutor you any more you know. You have to pay attention in class, Scotty!" Stiles laughed as he confessed, his ADHD on the brink of running wild. He shouldn't have forgotten to take his Adderall that day. "Believe it or not, I actually have better things to do."

"Like what. Play with yourself?" Stiles' smile left his face as he looked at his friend speaking. "Because I'm the only friend you've got." Scott then got up as the whistle went for half-time, leaving his friend behind on the bench as both teams went to take their short break back at the school, before he could even respond. It had truly been a while since anyone had left Stiles without a chance to respond like that, and he didn't know what annoyed him more.

The fact that Scott, his best friend, had said that; or the fact that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pick another person in that school who was truly his friend. Of course, there were the usual people that they hung around with at lunch and he saw in class sometimes. Among those people, Lydia, Danny, Jackson and Allison were present. However, Stiles and those 'friends' didn't have anything close to the bond formed over ten years, that he and Scott had forged together. However, something was clearly forcing that bond to loosen.

"Thanks Scott. Low blow." Stiles spoke to himself as he walked back to the School to get some refreshments with the rest of the team.

He didn't bother coming back for the second half.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay so, I personally feel like I rushed the vast majority, if not all, of my previous story to the point where it was hard to continue. I unfortunately crammed too many irrelevant things like too much dialogue to ignore the true elements of Teen Wolf; with each of the character's involvement and depth within the story needing much more description in my opinion. That's what I hope to accomplish with this Fanfiction, rather than rush it as much as I did previously. Despite this, the chapter's will still be relatively short.

A surprise of sorts is that this story will be similar to 'End of the Road' (or 'Outside', whatever), which I will be keeping up on the site, in the sense that the plot will be similar to that story; however in hopefully more depth to keep you, the readers, intrigued and me as a somewhat aspiring writer, motivated. A quick reminder is that due to things like school, and any other major priorities that simply can't wait, updates may be quite intermittent at times; however I'll try let you guys know by leaving an update on my profile if any problems arise.

Also, I don't know anything about lacrosse. I'm going from Teen Wolf itself as well as a few things from Wikipedia. Lol.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**-Zharrk**


	2. Not Like Us

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for getting through my first chapter. Hope you enjoy this one!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Teen Wolf'.

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**Chapter 2: Not Like Us**

It was the day after the big game that, somehow, Beacon Hills had managed to turn around; thanks to the help of team co-operation. Oh, and Jackson. You couldn't _really_ forget about him. At least, not whilst people were running around the hallways screaming and shouting and cheering for the now famous player who managed to 'single-handedly turn the tides' of the game.

Although, Jackson didn't win the game by himself.

From what Stiles saw from the videos that people had been uploading to places like Facebook, as well as the gifs that he had seen on Tumblr, it seemed like the only reason people passed to him at _all _was out of pure fear; out of the opposing team, or Jackson himself. Maybe seeing really muscular, stocky guys in the away team hit some of their nerves and made them crap their pants.

Jackson always got the ball just before the away team was about to knock over one of the Beacon Hills players. Jackson, in retrospect, saved all of their asses yesterday. Too bad he was too much of a jerk to appreciate the rest of the people who helped him win that match. Stiles could see him from down the hall. There was a small group of girls surrounding him, applauding him for his amazing work yesterday. He was smiling at them, and although he couldn't hear it, Stiles could tell he was flirting on them if the blushes on the girls' faces were any indicator. Then, the bell rang for first period. The girls waved a reserved goodbye at the star jock as they slowly dispersed, along with the rest of the students in the hallway.

Stiles was too busy paying attention to what Jackson was doing that he didn't realise that he was going to be late to class unless he got a move on.

He was loud in his attempt to scramble the books and papers in his locker that he would need for his first lesson with Harris. God, how he despised that man. Although, the devil spawn of a teacher also made it _very_ clear to Stiles, at any chance he got, that the feeling was mutual. Stiles knew that if he was to turn up even one second after the time that students were allocated to get to their lessons, which was only around two minutes, mind you, that he'd instantly get a few hours' worth of detention.

He really didn't have the time or the energy to go through with another one of those. Although, the footsteps that he heard getting closer to him as he grabbed the last of his resources, told him that he might be late to class after all.

"Yo, Stilinski." Jackson was smirking, yet Stiles couldn't see it until he pulled his head out of the way of his locker door, with books in hand. Jackson then promptly slammed his locker shut with a bang that reverberated throughout every hallway in the school, no doubt.

"What do you want, Jackson?" Stiles sighed loudly, however when he did, Jackson's smile widened in response. Stiles hated the fact that Jackson was even talking to him right then because they both knew that whenever the pair were engaged in conversation, something bad was bound to happen.

To Stiles.

"Hey, come on. Don't be so cold. We just won the big game, remember?" Jackson reminded him warmly. Stiles' anxiety lifted slightly and Jackson saw that he was visibly more relaxed, and began speaking again.

"We're having a party at my place tonight in celebration for me winning the big game."

"I thought you said_ we_ just won the big game." Stiles tried to clarify.

"We, as in me and not you, Stilinski. I didn't even see you on the bench for the second half of the match." Jackson snorted and Stiles didn't respond.

"Scott's coming to the party. I was talking to him about it, he's expecting to have some great fun with his friends." Jackson spoke politely, and Stiles raised his eyebrow at the jock in front of him. Jackson just nodded at him, and that was all the recognition that Stiles needed.

"Hey, well, I guess I'll see you at the-"

"You're not coming, Stilinski."

What. What?

"Excuse me?" Stiles asked, slightly worried why the conversation took such a drastic turn.

"I said Scott was expecting to have some _fun_, tonight. Not be brought down by the one and only 'Baggage on the Bench'." Jackson laughed at the nickname he created; Stiles just looked down at the books in his hand, ignoring eye contact.

"He has a reputation to keep you know. He can't do that with you around. It's bad enough that you trail us to every single lacrosse game we have, even though you're never going to play." Stiles' mouth opened slightly in retaliation as he turned to look at Jackson, his smirk still present and proud on his face. However, Stiles was speechless, and he quickly returned his gaze to his books.

That he was slowly clutching tighter towards his chest.

"It's okay. I understand." Stiles said, just wanting to get away from the situation entirely. He was about to turn around to get to his Chemistry class when all of the books in his hands were suddenly on the floor, creating another sound that echoed throughout the building.

"Oops." Jackson said, "Even though you can't do anything right, Stilinski, it's at least good to know that we don't have to add you being a total retard to the list." Jackson walked away, laughing to himself, as Stiles kneeled down and quickly gathered his books. It was way past the two minute time limit that he had in order to get to class. Jackson was just stalling him. Why did he have to listen to him? They were in the same Chemistry class, and Stiles ran towards the direction that Jackson walked in to their shared class.

He got there just behind Jackson at his top speed.

"Ahhhhhh, if it isn't the 'Beacon' himself! Come on in." Mr Harris smiled as he greeted Jackson walking through the door (five minutes late!), and he headed towards 'his' seat at the back of the class, that no one _dared_ to sit in. Mr Harris then turned his attention back to the door, the smile on his face instantly turning into a look of pure disgust as Stiles entered the class.

"Mr _Stilinski_." He emphasized for an unknown reason. "Tardy, as usual. Detention for an hour after school."

"What kinda crap is that? I got in the same time he did!" Stiles' outburst didn't go unnoticed. He drew the attention of everyone in their class, all eyes on him. He looked and pointed towards the now seated Jackson, who was smirking at him in the smug way he liked to.

"Don't use that language in my classroom!" Mr Harris matched Stiles' sudden rage with his own. All the eyes then swatted over to the teacher in the room, who had clearly lost his marbles. He was turning red and glaring at Stiles in a way that he had never seen before. He just looked like he was trying to kill him with his eyes. It was a strange way to describe it, but that was the only way he could.

"Detention for the rest of the week! Now, sit down before I take this further." Mr Harris pointed at Stiles' chair, next to Scott's near the back of the class, and people were stifling their laughs as Stiles closed the classroom door behind him and obediently went to his chair. He didn't want to argue anymore, it would be pointless and he always knew that Harris had it out for him. Things just couldn't get worse.

He decided to look over at Scott for some form of re-assurance, yet he was rewarded with the side of his face. He tried to whisper to get his friend's attention, but Scott just didn't seem to notice. Or, he didn't _want _to notice. Stiles didn't forget about his werewolf super hearing, so he just continued to look at him until eventually Harris saw him and told him to turn around, otherwise the consequences would get worse for him.

It wasn't his best Chemistry lesson to say the least.

* * *

It wasn't really any better at lunch.

Stiles was sat on the end of the table that he usually sat on at lunch. A few weeks ago, he would be sat further inward, talking to Scott with the rest of the guys, and girls, sat around them. However, he was dropped like a hot potato when Scott made first line. It had been like this for a while. Stiles was sat on the end of the table a metre or so away from Danny, who never once turned to his side to try and involve Stiles in the conversations that the rest of the table were having. Instead, he sat with Isaac across from him; the other outcast of the group, despite being a werewolf himself.

Erica and Boyd had each other, and they were sat slightly further inward on the table. They didn't need a third wheel, and ever since Isaac stopped playing lacrosse to join the track team, he instantly lost anything he had in common with the rest of the table. His popularity dropped, and he only sat near Erica and Boyd at lunch as he just had nobody else to sit with. He moved to the end of the table before Stiles did, but he soon joined him. For the past week, and a few extra days, Stiles had been getting to know him. Surprisingly, they had quite a lot in common. From their love of running to the types of games and anime they enjoyed.

Stiles was finding a friend in the curly haired boy.

They were too deeply engaged in a conversation to notice the slowly growing amount of eyes that were upon them. They both stopped talking when they noticed, and turned to look at the rest of the table looking back at them. They were smirking. Jackson and Erica. Heck, even the usually quiet and collected Boyd was smirking. Lydia, Allison, Danny and Scott didn't look as impressed though, when Jackson began speaking.

"Wow. The nerd fest is finally over. You'd think the little faggots would stop talking about fucking _Final Fantasy_ long enough to notice that NOBODY GIVES A SHIT." Laughter then erupted from the three aforementioned individuals whilst Stiles, Isaac and the other four just glared at Jackson. He didn't seem to notice though, as he was paying too much attention to the guys at the other end of the table.

Stiles got up, and Isaac followed suit when Stiles nodded his head towards him.

"Oh, just leave like the little bitches you are then!" Erica piped in. Jackson laughed at her joke as Stiles led Isaac out of the cafeteria, and towards the library; trays in hand.

They found a secluded table at the back of the library, surrounded by bookcases and out of view of the desk where the staff usually stood (who were never on duty at lunch anyway, since nobody bothered to come to the library at lunch).

"Are you sure that it's okay to eat in here?" Isaac asked, smiling. Seemingly forgetting what happened moments ago. Or at least, trying to. Stiles didn't want to bring it up if Isaac was trying to move on, so he didn't bother.

He went along with it.

"Sure! The staff are never here anyways… And considering how old this carpet is, a few crumbs won't make that much of a difference to the design that looks like it's been ripped from the stone age." Isaac chuckled slightly at Stiles' words, and they ate their meals in silence until Stiles turned saw the clock in the library. Lunch period was almost over.

"Don't worry about what they were saying, you know. They're jerks." Stiles told Isaac. He looked up from his food and smiled through chewing. He swallowed before replying.

"It's fine, Stiles. At least they can find something else to do if we come and camp out here from now on." Isaac stopped to speak to look around for a bit. "It's quiet here. I could get used to his. Heck, and nobody could interrupt our talks now!" He spoke and smiled enthusiastically.

"Heck yeah! Nobody gets in the way of us and _Final Fantasy_." They laughed loudly before piping back down, remembering they were still in a library.

"Whoops." Isaac said quietly, finishing his meal and heading back towards the cafeteria with his empty tray before Stiles tucked his chair in and quickly followed suit. They laughed a little more on the journey back. It was relaxing, and different.

But different wasn't always a _bad_ thing.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for reading guys. If you have the time, leave me a review about what you thought. I really appreciate you guys giving any feedback you have.

**-Zharrk**


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